Relations crumble between Semin, Newfoundland

by Richard Patterson

Management of the Newfoundland NorthStars met on Thursday morning to discuss the future of left winger Alexander Semin, days after the Russian superstar left midway through a team meeting. According to head coach Nick Ewing, the consensus throughout the organization was to move in a different direction.

"We can't have guys picking up cell phone calls in the middle of meetings and walking out," said Ewing, entering his third full season in POH. "Every day he drove away from team headquarters with a middle finger held out his window. That kind of behavior simply can't be tolerated."

It was not difficult to find suitors for Semin, who has scored better than a point-per-game twice in his NHL career. Ewing didn't wait long, fearing that a further disconnect between Semin and the organization could be a distraction moving forward. Nick Lake, general manager and head coach of the Istan Buls, was the first to pick up the phone regarding Semin's services....and was happy to welcome the talented left wing.

As seen above, Semin was known to have a cigarette or ten before and after every intermission. Part of the behavior that got him traded to Istan on Thursday.

"Anytime you can add a guy with the immense talent of an Alex Semin, I think you owe it to your fans to do so," Lake said. "We understand that he and Mr. Ewing haven't always gotten along, but we have a veteran group of guys over here in Istan and are confident that he'll fit right in."

Newfoundland received blue chip prospect Gabriel Landeskog in the deal, along with Canucks forward Alexandre Burrows. The move makes sense for both sides, as Newfoundland continues to build for the future with young talent, while Istan gears up for another run at a Rathje Division crown.

Semin has played in 70+ games just one time in the past four seasons, having been riddled with injury for the better part of his NHL career. His best season came in '09-'10 when he tallied 40 goals and 44 assists in 73 games.

After conducting a 45-minute long interview with Ewing on Thursday evening, he closed the conversation with a rather shocking, borderline criminal statement.

"Make sure to put this in print," Ewing sneered. "Fuck Alexander Semin. If he ever shows his face in Newfoundland again, and that includes when Istan comes up here to play on Dec. 12, I'll personally cut his fucking throat with a dull butter knife."

Bold words from a bold coach.