Week 7 Review

The Bull Frogs beat the Shtonsters, 8-1

Jiminy Shplickets! What a nuts of a match! I mean, you talk about a team that was in DESPERATE NEED of a win, you gotta talk about the Bullfrogs. And they did. Oh they won by a lot all right. Evgeni Malkin even scored eight points and that STILL wasn't enough for Evan to win it this week! Steven Stamkos had five points and Pavel Datsyuk had four points for The Bullfrogs who got the biggest win of the whole entire week of POH6. Mike Smith and Henrik Lundqvist each scored a shutout for the Bull Frogs.

 
The Slanderers beat the Bears, 5-3

You wanna talk about a game that was a match up between two  great teams who were just duking it out completely? This is that game, and the Slanderers got that victory like they meant it. Mainly they got that victory because of the goaltenders playing better than the Bears ones. I mean, you wanna talk about a great week? How about Jimmy Howard AND Antti Niemi having less than 2.00 GAA this week. And as if that isn't enough, how about the 120 shots the Slanderers put towards those nets out there this week. You just can't get much better than that if you ask me this time.Tim Thomas got a shutout for those Bears, but it wasn't quite enough to make it a great week for him out there.

The Lipsuckers beat the Moose, 6-3

I'm going to say something and you have to admit that you won't judge me for it...the Lipsuckers could be one of the best teams in the Princes of Hockey. They didn't get all the offensive victories, but they got just enough and the goaltending was great enough because the Moose weren't very good that week this time. They had no victories! And they had a GAA over 4.00! Talk about a no-show. I mean, Jordan Eberle DID have a pretty nice week with six points himself and not to mention Ryan Nugent-Hopkins who had five points of his own. On the bright side, Jonas Hiller only allowed 13 goals in three starts...not as bad as you might think. Okay fine I was just joshin' around that is pretty bad. The Lipsuckers are #1 in the Fleury Division, while the Moose aren't too shabby themselves at 28-24.


The Buls beat the Wasps, 6-3

Gosh talk about a bad team! Look at the Wasps lately, will ya? They've had exactly zero wins since they won in week one against those Shtonsters. You think those Buls felt bad about those Wasps? Heck no! They took full advantage of the struggles and got themselves another win. They are unbeaten in five weeks! And you know what, they have that #1 seed on their backs again all-the-sudden. Marc-Andre Fleury and Carey Price are the best 1-2 punch in the goaltending of all the league. Even though Nicklas Backstrom got five points by himself, that wasn't  going to win the week in its own right...well, obviously. Ryan Getzlaf and Jamie Benn had four points and that was enough if you ask Joel Hafnor about it!

The NorthStars beat the Villains, 4-3

Honestly, who'd have thought this one was coming? If you want the truth, it was a pretty big surprise to me. If you think Sidney Crosby cures all ills you are probably mistaken, just look at this result for proof! Everything looks like it should be going Vancouver's way, but not so fast. The NorthStars got all those wins in goaltending stats, and you might've thought that would be enough for a win this week and you were right. If you're the Villains, better luck next week. Actually, who knows maybe things might turn around all the sudden.

Question of the Week:

Could the best teams be really doing it this time? Well, we are more than 33.3 percent of the way past the regular season line and welp, some of those teams really are doing better than the ones who find themselves down towards the bottom. Well, better get going if you hope to find that playoffs.

League Leaders

Goals-Newfoundland (83)

Assists-Alberta (136)

PPP-Latvia (80)

SOG-Sandusky (789)

DEF-Latvia (54)

Wins-Sandusky (28)

Shutouts-Istan (6)

GAA-Sandusky (2.178)

SV%-Branson (.9252)

Week 8 Match Ups
The Slanderers @ The Shtonsters
The Lipsuckers @ The Bears
The Wasps @ The Moose
The Villains @ The Buls
The Bull Frogs @ The NorthStars

Week 4 Review

Istan 5-3 Sandusky

Ondrej Pavelec gave his former coach Andy Ries a middle finger after his shutout on Thursday evening. Ries called the move "bush league", while Lake stood behind his newly acquired goaltender by saying "emotions are just part of the game." Should make for an entertaining rematch on January 9. Jamie Benn and Joffrey Lupul led the Buls offense this week, with 5 points apiece. If Istan continues displaying this type of depth, they could find themselves deep in the POH playoffs again. Standouts: Jamie Benn (IST) 2 G, 3 A, 2 PPP---Jeff Skinner (SAN) 2 G, 2 A, 13 SOG

Branson 3-5 Latvia

This divisonal matchup was split right down the middle. The Lipsuckers won 5 of 5 offensive categories, with the Bull Frogs claiming 3.5 out of 4 in the goaltending department. Travis Todd and the Lipsuckers extended their division lead to 2 1/2 with the Slanderers loss this week. Alexander Edler continued his phenomenal start with 1 G, 5 A and 5 PPP this week for Latvia. Mike Smith led the way for the Bull Frogs goaltenders with 2 wins and 3 GA in two starts.  Steven Stamkos busted out for 4 goals this week, matching the rest of his Branson teammates. Standouts: Steven Stamkos (BRAN) 4 G, 1 A, 15 SOG---Alexander Edler (LAT) 1 G, 5 A, 5 PPP, 6 DEF

NWT 5-2 Newfoundland

Uh oh, the Moose are STILL unbeaten. A lot has been expected of Jared Stewart since he joined the league two years ago, and it appears he is finally hitting his stride. Daniel Sedin may have succeeded Alex Ovechkin as the best player in the Northwest Territories. His 2 G, 3 A week led the way for NWT, while Nicklas Lidstrom added 3 G, and 1 A from the blue line. The NorthStars were happy to see Matt Duchene breakout this week with 3 G and 2 A. Despite Nikolai Khabibulin's shutout, the Newfoundland goaltending stats were atrocious this week. Ewing needs Lehtonen and Miller to get back on track if he hopes to stay competitive. Standouts: Daniel Sedin (NWT) 2 G, 3 A, 3 PPP, 13 SOG---Matt Duchene (NEWF) 3 G, 2 A, 10 SOG

Winnipeg 4-4 Vancouver

The latest installment of the Winnipeg-Vancouver rivalry ended in a stalemate. The Wasps had a mammoth 13 G, 25 A week on offense, but wasted the effort with a less-than-stellar 2.95 GAA, .898 SV% goaltending effort. Despite having six less games on offense, the Villains were able to win the PPP and DEF category. James van Riemsdyk led the way for the Villains offensively with 2 G, 3 A in just two games. Loui Eriksson had 2 G, 4 A in a pair of games for Winnipeg. The two sides have one more meeting in the regular season beginning Jan. 2nd. Standouts: James van Riemsdyk (VAN) 2 G, 3 A---Patrick Kane (WINN) 2 G, 5 A, 12 SOG

Alberta 6-2 Lake Erie

The Bears got a much-needed victory this week, coming at the expense of the much maligned Lake Erie Shtonsters. Martin St. Louis woke up with a 5 A effort in Week 4, while fellow long tooth Ray Whitney had 1 G and 3 A for the Bears. Henrik Sedin made a strong opening statement in Lake Erie, with 1 G, 4 A in his debut. The Shtonsters had 1 start all week from their goaltenders. Evan Tynan has thrown in the towel on this season, an unexpected move for a manager who owns a Twelvosports Major championship. Standouts: Martin St. Louis (ALB) 5 A---Henrik Sedin (LE) 1 G, 4 A, 4 PPP

Question of the Week:

Best friends Jared Stewart and Sean Slevin meet this week. Stewart has said on several occasions that he hopes to one day be mentioned in the same breath as the Slevin's and Svitak's of POH. For the first time since joining the league in POH4, Stewart may have a team that is better than that of his mentor Snells Slorvin. Has the student become the teacher in this friendly rivalry? Let's find out.

League Leaders

Goals-Sandusky (48)

Assists-Winnipeg (83)

PPP-NWT/Vancouver (46)

SOG-Sandusky (448)

DEF-Latvia (32)

Wins-Newfoundland/Istan (17)

Shutouts-Winnipeg/NWT (4)

GAA-Latvia (2.234)

SV%-Newfoundland (.9252)

Week 5 Match Ups

Newfoundland @ Latvia

Winnipeg @ Sandusky

Lake Erie @ Istan

Vancouver @ Branson

Alberta @ NWT

Week 3 Review

NWT 6-2 Branson

Pekka Rinne finally showed why the Moose selected him 5th overall in this year's draft, posting a steady 2 W, 1 SO, 1.68 GAA week to lead the Moose to their second win in as many weeks. The Moose offense was led by a pair of unexpected heroes, as Kimmo Timonen busted out for 7 DEF points, and Jordan Eberle chipped in with 3 G and 2 A. NWT finished with 33 points for the week, second only to the Alberta Bears (34). It was an uncharacterstically bad week for King Henrik in net for the Bull Frogs, with a GAA hovering near 4.00. NWT is the league's last remaining unbeaten, with 2 wins and a tie in their first three affairs. Standouts: Kimmo Timonen (NWT) 7 A, 7 DEF---Danny Briere (BRAN) 2 G, 3  A

Sandusky 5-2 Vancouver

In a rematch of last year's semi-finals, Tron Ries and the Slanderers enacted a bit of revenge on the defending champion Villains. The loss was Vancouver's first of the year. Though Sandusky wasn't spectacular offensively (11 G, 12 A), they continue to put the puck in the net at an impressive rate (38 G leads the league). Thomas Vanek continued his tear this week, with 2 G and 3 A. Vanek now has 15 points in 10 games. The Villains were absolutely dreadful in net, with a 3.94 GAA and .873 SV% for the week. After leading the league in GAA a season ago, the Villains now find themselves in dead last in both GAA and SV% three weeks into the season. Standouts: Antti Niemi (SAN) 2 W, 1.50 GAA, .942 SV%---Marian Gaborik (VAN) 1 G, 3 A

Istan 5-3 Alberta

Marc-Andre Fleury has made quite the impression since arriving in Istan a few weeks ago. How about this for consistency...Fleury's stats in his Buls debut last week: 2 W, 2 GA, 50 SV, 1.00 GAA, .962 SV%. And this week: 2 W, 2 GA, 1 SO, 50 SV, 0.96 GAA, .962 SV%. Fleury's steady presence, along with the return to form of Carey Price has suddenly returned the Istan Buls to one of the premiere goaltending clubs in the game. Meanwhile, Sean Slevin's "offense first" mentality is becoming all too obvious this year, as his Bears have struggled to a 1-9-2 record in the Goaltending categories, while enjoying a 10-4-1 mark on offense. His 95 points for the year ranks the Bears #1 in Princes of Hockey, but because of the goaltending woes, Slevin would find himself outside of the playoff picture if the season ended today. Standouts: Jaromir Jagr (IST) 5 G, 2 A, 17 SOG---Claude Giroux (ALB) 2 G, 5 A

Latvia 6-2 Winnipeg

Yes, I think it's time we face reality on this one: The Latvia Lipsuckers are here to stay. They have recorded impressive results against both Sandusky and Winnipeg over the past two weeks, and stayed close with Vancouver in the opening week. After this latest victory, Travis Todd finds himself in a very unfamiliar position...sitting in first place and looking down at the rest of the league below. It didn't take long for goaltender Brian Elliott to reward Todd for picking him up, as the Blues new starting netminder posted a shutout just hours after joining the Latvia roster. This Lipsuckers squad is difficult to beat, because not only do they have an outstanding crop of skaters, they now seem to have a goaltending trio that warrants respect. They are here to stay. Standouts: Teemu Selanne (LAT) 1 G, 5 A, 3 PPP---Joe Pavelski (WINN) 3 G, 2 A

Newfoundland 5-2 Lake Erie

The steady demise of the Lake Erie Shtonsters continues. Meanwhile, the surprising NorthStars are trying to prove all their doubters wrong, and find themselves in the thick of things after three weeks. Let's be fair and call this one what it was, a battle between two statistically unimpressive squads. The two squads finished in the bottom three in terms of G, A, PPP, and DEF this week. The goaltending wasn't much better, as Ewing's 2.64 GAA (good for 7th in the league this week) got the job done. But a win's a win, and for the rebuilding NorthStars, they'll take what they can get. Standouts: Phil Kessel (NEWF) 2 G, 2 A, 13 SOG---Mike Richards (LE) 1 G, 3 A

Question of the Week:

Are the Lake Erie Shtonsters giving up on the 2011-12 season with their latest trade with the Vancouver Villains. Tynan shipped his entire set of offensive keepers (Thornton, Hossa, Iginla) to Vancouver in exchange for Henrik Sedin and a couple toss-in players. Yes, the Shtonsters received the best player in the deal. Yes, the duo of Henrik Sedin and Evgeni Malkin looks good (should Malkin regain health in his surgically repaired knee). But did Tynan give up too much, too early? The Lake Erie offense is going to lack depth behind Malkin and Sedin, and the goaltending is shaky to say the least now that they shipped Fleury to Istan in order to acquire Malkin. And how about the other side of the trade, where Vancouver loses it's best player behind Sid the Kid, but bolsters the overall depth of their offense, which has struggled at points this year. With names like Crosby, Gaborik, Thornton, Iginla, Hossa, Sharp, Franzen to go along with the best defensive corps in the league (Letang, Weber, Green, Johnson)...this team became a real force offensively in the blink of an eye.

League Leaders

Goals-Sandusky (38)

Assists-Alberta (60)

PPP-Alberta (42)

SOG-Istan (347)

DEF-Winnipeg (28)

Wins-Newfoundland/Istan (14)

Shutouts-Winnipeg (4)

GAA-Latvia (1.958)

SV%-Latvia (.934)

Week 4 Match Ups

Istan @ Sandusky

Branson @ Latvia

NWT @ Newfoundland

Vancouver @ Winnipeg

Alberta @ Lake Erie

Week 2 Review

Alberta 3-5 Vancouver

After two weeks, the defending champion Vancouver Villains are the only team in the league with wins in both match ups. Svitak seems to have patched up his goaltending situation for the time being, adding Mathieu Garon on Saturday night just in time to enjoy his shut out performance against Buffalo. Jason Spezza poured in 3 G and 4 A in only three games this week, helping Slevin and the Bears keep this one respectable. Keith Yandle's 1 G, 1 A Sunday night performace tied the goals category, and gave the Bears an 8-7 edge in DEF points to narrow the margin of defeat significantly. Standouts: Jason Spezza (ALB) 3 G, 4 A, 3 PPP---Mike Green (VAN) 2 G, 2 A, 4 DEF

Winnipeg 4-4 Branson

Despite three shutouts Jonathan Quick, the Branson Bull Frogs were able to win 3 out of 4 goaltending categories from Winnipeg in this one. Quick's second shut out of the week came on the Wasps bench, as Joel Hafnor elected to give Varlamov and Bryzgalov each the nod on Thursday night. The decision likely changed the outcome of this match up significantly. Most would say that's just bad managing by Joel Hafnor. Others might say he should be fired. Nicklas Backstrom appears to be returning to form for the Wasps, tallying a 5-point week in this one. Brian Campbell had a 4-assist night on Monday for Branson, and then wasn't heard from again. Standouts: Jonathan Quick 3 W, 3 SO, 0.00 GAA, 1.000 SV%---Henrik Lundqvist (BRAN) 2 W, 1 SO, 1.38 GAA, .960 SV%

Lake Erie 3-5 NWT

The Moose edged division opponent Lake Erie thanks in large part to the offensive efforts of superstars Daniel Sedin and Alex Ovechkin. The two combined for 4 G and 6 A in the week, and are undoubtedly the most feared tandem in the league at this point. Despite the offensive prowess of the Moose, there still appear to be some issues in net, made evident by this weeks ugly 3.72 GAA and .874 SV% clip. The big news in Lake Erie this week was the acquisition of Evgeni Malkin, who still has yet to make his Shtonsters debut, but nonetheless has people talking about the team again. The Shtonsters could certainly use the big man, as they now sit at 4-13-1 on the season. Standouts: Marian Hossa (LE) 3 G, 9 SOG---Daniel Sedin (NWT) 2 G, 3 A, 4 PPP, 11 SOG

Latvia 5-1 Sandusky

This one was an upset special, as Travis Todd's Lipsuckers uprooted a Prince's Pot favorite in Sandusky. Latvia netminder Tomas Vokoun was nothing short of sensational this week, stopping nearly 97% of the shots he faced and winning all three games for the week. The Slanderers lit the lamp more than any team in POH this week, but failed to fill the stat sheet other than that. His 4 PPP effort simply won't do the trick. An encouraging start to the season for Latvia, who stuck with a very good Vancouver squad, and now has a solid win against last season's Fleury Division champion. Standouts: Tomas Vokoun (LAT) 3 W, 1 SO, 1.00 GAA, .968 SV%---Lubomir Visnovsky (SAN) 1 G, 3 A, 4 DEF

Newfoundland 5-3 Istan

Another eyebrow raiser in this one, as the Newfoundland NorthStars knocked off Istan, last season's runner-up. It appears Nick Ewing pulled the trigger on Phil Kessel at the perfect moment, as the sniper appears to be putting it all together for the first time this season. Through eight games, Kessel has 8 G and 6 A. The goaltending was phenomenal for the NorthStars this week, with Ryan Miller and Kari Lehtonen each collecting 2 W's, with GAA's below 2.00 and SV%'s higher than .960! The Buls' newest addition Marc-Andre Fleury was steady in his first two games with the club, posting a 1.00 GAA and a .962 SV%. Standouts: Phil Kessel (NEWF) 3 G, 3 A, 14 SOG---Dion Phaneuf (IST) 1 G, 5 A, 6 DEF

 

Question of the Week:

Just a season removed from expansion, both Latvia and Newfoundland find themselves with decent records in the early going. Do either club have what it takes to remain competitive, or is this success a blip on the radar?

League Leaders

Goals-Sandusky (27)

Assists-Branson (39)

PPP-Vancouver/Alberta (28)

SOG-Sandusky (245)

DEF-Vancouver (19)

Wins-Newfoundland (11)

Shutouts-Winnipeg (4)

GAA-Winnipeg (1.843)

SV%-Newfoundland (.937)

Week 3 Match Ups

NWT @ Branson

Sandusky @ Vancouver

Istan @ Alberta

Latvia @ Winnipeg

Newfoundland @ Lake Erie

Week 1 Review

Lake Erie 1-8 Winnipeg

Led by a terrific goaltending trio of Ilya Bryzgalov, Jonathan Quick and Semyon Varlamov, the Wasps started their POH6 campaign on an impressive note. Varlamov, who the Wasps selected to be the team's No. 3 goaltender, posted an impressive 2-win, 1.30 GAA, .960 SV% in Week 1. Winnipeg won 4-of-5 offensive categories, and nearly won the DEF category despite fielding just two eligible defensemen for most of the week.  Standouts: Patrick Kane (WINN) 2 G, 4 A, 17 SOG---Jack Johnson (LE) 2 G, 2 A, 4 DEF, 11 SOG

Vancouver 5-3 Latvia

The defending champion Villains began their title defense with a slim 5-3 victory over the Lipsuckers. Vancouver was firing on all cylinders offensively, piling up a league-best 49 points in Week 1. The goaltending effort was a poor one, however, leading to a less than stellar 5-3 result. Dwayne Roloson finished the week with a 4.35 GAA, while third year Villain Roberto Luongo struggled to the tune of a 3.60 GAA. Henrik Sedin had 7 points to lead the way for Svitak.   Standouts: Kris Letang (VAN) 1 G, 5 A, 6 DEF, 15 SOG---John Tavares (LAT) 5 G, 3 A, 12 SOG

Alberta 5-3 Newfoundland

Another match up featuring an offensive sweep for one team (Alberta) and a near sweep in the goaltending statistics (Newfoundland). The Bears peppered the net with shots, racking up 144 in the 10-day opening week. Claude Giroux impressed in his first week with Alberta, scoring 5 points (3 on the PP). Many sources close to the Alberta franchise say Sean Slevin is expecting Giroux to be in a Bears uniform for quite some time. The NorthStars, who came out this week with a "three-year plan" to rebuild the organization, held their own against the high powered Bears offense. Phil Kessel had an impressive 5 G, 3 A week, though his final effort of the week was executed on the bench. Kari Lehtonen provided the spark in net, with only 6 GA in 4 games (all wins). Standouts: Ray Whitney (ALB) 2 G, 2 A, 10 SOG---Kari Lehtonen (NEWF) 4 W, 1.48 GAA, .955 SV%

Branson 2-6 Sandusky

The Slanderers may have had the strongest all-around performance in Week 1, tallying 35 points on offense while posting a sub-2.00 GAA and a pair of shutouts. The defending Fleury Division champs had a league-best 154 SOG, including three players with more than 20(!) in the week (Neal, Vanek, Carter). Thomas Vanek was just silly, with 3 G, 4 A, and 20 SOG. Neal took an early lead in the Richard Trophy race with his 5 goals. The Bull Frogs had a league-best 24 A, including 4 from Shane Doan. Sandusky swept all 4 goaltending stats despite playing the entire week without Antti Niemi. Standouts: Jeff Skinner (SAN) 2 G, 4 A, 14 SOG---Mike Smith (BRAN) 1 W, 0.96 GAA, .955 SV%

NWT 3-3 Istan

With the return of POH4's 9-category system comes the infamous 3-3-3 tie. In a game that could have future implications for the Rathje Division crown, nothing was settled as the Buls received 2 assists on Sunday from Ryan Getzlaf to secure the tie. Perhaps the biggest news in this one is the wavering health of third year keeper Evgeni Malkin, and GM Nick Lake's public attempts to trade the former Art Ross Trophy winner. Istan controlled the offense for the most part, with a 3-1-1 mark in those categories. Rick Nash led the way with his 2 G, 3 A week. The Buls also received steady production from Gabriel Landeskog (2 G-1A), who was officially shipped to Newfoundland as of Saturday evening.  Jared Stewart benched Alexander Ovechkin twice, missing both games the Russian sensation collected any points. Only giving more ammunition to those who contest that the third-year manager lacks the dedication to win a Prince's Pot. Standouts: Daniel Sedin (NWT) 2 G, 5 A, 4 PPP, 17 SOG---Rick Nash (IST) 2 G, 3 A, 14 SOG

Question of the Week:

How much longer does Evgeni Malkin have in an Istan Buls uniform? It seems only a matter of time that a willing general manager in the Princes of Hockey will roll the dice on the oft-injured Russian. And if, like we expect, Malkin is dealt...what will Lake get in return? Certainly this seems to be the most glaring storyline heading into Week 2 action.

League Leaders

Goals-Vancouver (16)

Assists-Branson (24)

PPP-Winnipeg/Alberta (17)

SOG-Sandusky (154)

DEF-Vancouver/Lake Erie (12)

Wins-Winnipeg (7)

Shutouts-Winnipeg/Sandusky (2)

GAA-Winnipeg (1.656)

SV%-Winnipeg (.9446)

Week 2 Match Ups

Alberta @ Vancouver

Winnipeg @ Branson

Lake Erie @ NWT

Latvia @ Sandusky

Newfoundland @ Istan

Relations crumble between Semin, Newfoundland

by Richard Patterson

Management of the Newfoundland NorthStars met on Thursday morning to discuss the future of left winger Alexander Semin, days after the Russian superstar left midway through a team meeting. According to head coach Nick Ewing, the consensus throughout the organization was to move in a different direction.

"We can't have guys picking up cell phone calls in the middle of meetings and walking out," said Ewing, entering his third full season in POH. "Every day he drove away from team headquarters with a middle finger held out his window. That kind of behavior simply can't be tolerated."

It was not difficult to find suitors for Semin, who has scored better than a point-per-game twice in his NHL career. Ewing didn't wait long, fearing that a further disconnect between Semin and the organization could be a distraction moving forward. Nick Lake, general manager and head coach of the Istan Buls, was the first to pick up the phone regarding Semin's services....and was happy to welcome the talented left wing.

As seen above, Semin was known to have a cigarette or ten before and after every intermission. Part of the behavior that got him traded to Istan on Thursday.

"Anytime you can add a guy with the immense talent of an Alex Semin, I think you owe it to your fans to do so," Lake said. "We understand that he and Mr. Ewing haven't always gotten along, but we have a veteran group of guys over here in Istan and are confident that he'll fit right in."

Newfoundland received blue chip prospect Gabriel Landeskog in the deal, along with Canucks forward Alexandre Burrows. The move makes sense for both sides, as Newfoundland continues to build for the future with young talent, while Istan gears up for another run at a Rathje Division crown.

Semin has played in 70+ games just one time in the past four seasons, having been riddled with injury for the better part of his NHL career. His best season came in '09-'10 when he tallied 40 goals and 44 assists in 73 games.

After conducting a 45-minute long interview with Ewing on Thursday evening, he closed the conversation with a rather shocking, borderline criminal statement.

"Make sure to put this in print," Ewing sneered. "Fuck Alexander Semin. If he ever shows his face in Newfoundland again, and that includes when Istan comes up here to play on Dec. 12, I'll personally cut his fucking throat with a dull butter knife."

Bold words from a bold coach.